Danny DeVito

Vic De Salvo

Rhea Perlman

Francine Kester

Gerrit Graham

Parker Braithwaite

Bernadette Birkett

Mrs. Sweeney

Barry Corbin

Colonel

Louis Giambalvo

Goody DeSalvo

Ronny Graham

Cap'n Andy

Huntz Hall

Benny Bentson

Basil Hoffman

Frank Friedlander

Kevin McCarthy

Wes Vandergelder

John Megna

Al

Michael Richards

Sal

Ron Rifkin

TV Director

Joe Santos

Tony

Vincent Schiavelli

Skip Imperali

Frank Sivero

Bruno

Mark L. Taylor

Ken

George Wendt

Mr. Sweeney

Steve Allen

Steve Allen

Jayne Meadows

Jayne Meadows

Randi Brooks

Teresa

Cisse Cameron

Wendy

Gela Nash

Tamara

Candi Brough

Bambi

Randi Brough

Stacy

Army Archerd

Army Archerd

Allyce Beasley

Paisan Receptionist

Peter Brocco

Vic's Tailor

Robert Costanzo

Nunzo

Selma Diamond

Francine's Mother

Michael Ensign

Le Boeuf Maitre D'

Jason Hervey

Todd Sweeney

Damon Hines

Woodrow T. Brown

Kenneth Kimmins

Network Spokesman

Bruce Kimmel

WACked Out Recruit

Jeffrey Lampert

MBC Guard

Russ Marin

Sid

Randall Miller

Car Attendant

James Le Gros

Car Attendant

Susan Peretz

Network Receptionist

Jerry Seinfeld

Network Rep #1

Charlie Stavola

Cop #1

J. Alan Thomas

Cop #2

Lisle Wilson

Mr. Johnson

Lee Ving

Dawn Patrol

Victoria Cooke

HOT BODS

Tracey Walter

Computron Investigator

Richard Kind

Steve

Alan Alda

Alan Alda (uncredited)